Background: Family (Kinship)
A Somali’s family is the most important aspect of any Somali’s life. It forms the basis of people’s support networks, with relatives being mutually reliant on one another. The “family” itself refers to an expansive kinship network, including extended family members. Each family kinship group also belongs to a broader clan and sub-clan(s) based on their shared ancestry with other Somalis. All clan affiliations are inherited through the father’s lineage.
Family Dynamics
Somali families are very collectivist with communal responsibilities. For example, the whole family and community is considered to be responsible for a child’s parenting and upbringing. It is commonplace and accepted for a Somali child to be disciplined by another adult in the community who is not their parent.
Families often pool their resources and wealth so that everyone can meet collective needs. Relatives in more fortunate economic positions often feel a particularly strong sense of responsibility to support others. For example, a Somali person living in a Western country may prioritize sending money back to extended family members overseas over building their personal savings. Indeed, remittances from Somalis living abroad comprise nearly one-fourth of household incomes in Somalia.1
Throughout all sectors of Somali society, parents and elders are highly respected. It is highly inappropriate for children to talk back to or disobey anyone who is older than themselves. Most people’s decisions continue to be influenced by their parents in adulthood, especially for women. Elder family members are cared for by their children and grandchildren into their old age.
Household Structure
The basic household structure is traditionally large and multi-generational. It is customary for women to move in with their husbands’ families at marriage. Therefore, a traditional Somali household usually consists of three generations:
- the eldest couple;
- their sons, sons’ wives, and any unmarried daughters; and
- the grandchildren from their married sons.
Somalis who are affluent and living in cities often hire a live-in domestic worker who assists the women of the house with daily chores.
Approximately one-fifth of the Somali population lives in polygamous household situations, whereby men have more than one wife, and each wife has their own residence.
People often have up to eight children. It is estimated that a Somali woman gives birth to an average of six children during her lifetime. It is rare for children to move out of their parents’ home before they are married, although some men might in urban areas.